12 posts tagged “f13”
I have felt stuck, I need to push myself again. I am gaining weigh, I need to get out and play. The weather is good, no excuses! My laundry is piled high, I need to get a couple loads done each day! (hold on, I am starting one right now--DONE!) My dishes, well they are not so bad. I need to find a weekend soon and sell all my shiz! Dang it, May is booked solid, how did that happen? Okay, so June! I will have a sale in June. ramble ramble ramble. I just keep procrastinating. How can I hold myself to my word?
Schedule for today: 13 of them
1- shower
2-dishes and counters
3-sweep kitchen, mop as well
4-switch laundry from washer to dryer, start again
5-make bed (change sheets)
6-call the food bank to see about hours next month, I think he said permanent hours, but I need to make sure.
7-start going through photos on flickr and find pictures I would like in a portfolio. This should take a while...
8-lunch
9-watch cheesy crime drama to let my left over corn chowder settle
10-RECESS!!!!
11-Jump Rope until I get winded (about 60 jumps, I am SO out of shape)
12-Hula hoop until I feel a little rested
-Jump rope
-hula hoop
etc.
13- Finish up laundry
My SIL called the other day. he suggested I get together with her friend who is a florist. She is just beginning in the field. I asked if she needed pictures of her arrangements or something, SIL said No, Her arrangements are just so beautiful. I thought you would love to take pictures of them.
This got me thinking a bit. I was thinking that if I took photos of these beautiful flowers and arrangements, I would have to be technically correct, or it would end up looking like a snapshot of beautiful flowers. Don't get me wrong, I love flowers, the colors and shapes are amazing, but my photography skills are awkward, and the elegance of a floral arrangement would show my awkward and clumsy photographic style in a bad way.
I am not drawn to perfect beautiful things. These are not what make me gasp and grab the lens cap off of Ruby (My Nikon D80), and frantically snap off several shots. I like the ordinary and the ugly. This is what brings me to my knees. I love the chip in a teacup, the decay of an old shed, the rust on the fender of an abandoned car. My awkward clumsy photographic style matches up with the awkward nature of a chipped teacup on a shelf of perfect ones, it matches with the abandoned items I find along the railroad tracks, it matches with parts of me. I am awkward, I am clumsy, I have been abandoned and left to rust, I am an odd duck. I like that about myself now, it took a while.
I will take pictures of flowers because the colors are incredible, I will take pictures of my family because they are beautiful, and I will capture them in my own way, but the thing that gets me going is taking pictures of ugly things, and make them look pretty.
Friday the 13th, List of thirteen things I love to take pictures of:
1.Old hand made items, like the sweater and the pillow shown here. The stitches are coming loose, and there are stains and tears, but they are beautiful. Somehow you can feel the energy of the lovely person who made the item so many years ago. You can feel the love!
2. antique technology, they show me what was. They tell me stories of the way things were. An old radio tells me a story of little boys dressed as cowboys and indians sitting listening to old westerns after school, and news reports of the end of a war, and playing songs that made people fall in love and dance. Cameras that captured not only the family all dressed up in their sundays best standing outside the old Packard, but the long shadow of the person holding the camera.
3. things out of place, one red flower in a garden of yellow, or one fence post bent and broken in a line of perfect spires.
4. decay, natural or not, I love seeing the cycle. Everything eventually gets swallowed up by mother nature. It is a constant battle to keep our homes free from blackberry brambles. If we left our home for 5 years, it would be buried inside a giant mound of blackberry bushes.
5. reflections, I like the clouds mirrored in a mud puddle, or the bare branches of a tree mirrored ina puddle filled with its leaves, my own reflection in a storefront window
6. my kitties, they are so cute!!!
7. art
8. strange things I find along the railroad tracks, like a fork or a shoe
9. my own feet, I like the splash of color my own fun shoes can add to a scene
10. sweetness, no matter how "dark" a shot may be, I like to have a bit of sweetness or innosence there, a bit of wonder and magic
11. from ground level, or near it, I like different perspectives. I like seeing the world from 4 inches above the ground.
12. shadows, my own or a street lights shadow, a fence or a flower, sometimes reducing a photo to the shape of a flower can be quite beautiful.
13. Odd things, things that make people cringe in a strange way. Like the duckling above. I did not touch it, that is how they had it displayed. A dead duckling in a teacup. I love antique doll faces even thouhg so many find them creepy. I think of the sweetness. How many teaparties did the dolls attend? How many nights did they make safer for a little girl in the dark? I like odd things.
This got me thinking a bit. I was thinking that if I took photos of these beautiful flowers and arrangements, I would have to be technically correct, or it would end up looking like a snapshot of beautiful flowers. Don't get me wrong, I love flowers, the colors and shapes are amazing, but my photography skills are awkward, and the elegance of a floral arrangement would show my awkward and clumsy photographic style in a bad way.
I am not drawn to perfect beautiful things. These are not what make me gasp and grab the lens cap off of Ruby (My Nikon D80), and frantically snap off several shots. I like the ordinary and the ugly. This is what brings me to my knees. I love the chip in a teacup, the decay of an old shed, the rust on the fender of an abandoned car. My awkward clumsy photographic style matches up with the awkward nature of a chipped teacup on a shelf of perfect ones, it matches with the abandoned items I find along the railroad tracks, it matches with parts of me. I am awkward, I am clumsy, I have been abandoned and left to rust, I am an odd duck. I like that about myself now, it took a while.
I will take pictures of flowers because the colors are incredible, I will take pictures of my family because they are beautiful, and I will capture them in my own way, but the thing that gets me going is taking pictures of ugly things, and make them look pretty.
Friday the 13th, List of thirteen things I love to take pictures of:
1.Old hand made items, like the sweater and the pillow shown here. The stitches are coming loose, and there are stains and tears, but they are beautiful. Somehow you can feel the energy of the lovely person who made the item so many years ago. You can feel the love!
2. antique technology, they show me what was. They tell me stories of the way things were. An old radio tells me a story of little boys dressed as cowboys and indians sitting listening to old westerns after school, and news reports of the end of a war, and playing songs that made people fall in love and dance. Cameras that captured not only the family all dressed up in their sundays best standing outside the old Packard, but the long shadow of the person holding the camera.
3. things out of place, one red flower in a garden of yellow, or one fence post bent and broken in a line of perfect spires.
4. decay, natural or not, I love seeing the cycle. Everything eventually gets swallowed up by mother nature. It is a constant battle to keep our homes free from blackberry brambles. If we left our home for 5 years, it would be buried inside a giant mound of blackberry bushes.
5. reflections, I like the clouds mirrored in a mud puddle, or the bare branches of a tree mirrored ina puddle filled with its leaves, my own reflection in a storefront window
6. my kitties, they are so cute!!!
7. art
8. strange things I find along the railroad tracks, like a fork or a shoe
9. my own feet, I like the splash of color my own fun shoes can add to a scene
10. sweetness, no matter how "dark" a shot may be, I like to have a bit of sweetness or innosence there, a bit of wonder and magic
11. from ground level, or near it, I like different perspectives. I like seeing the world from 4 inches above the ground.
12. shadows, my own or a street lights shadow, a fence or a flower, sometimes reducing a photo to the shape of a flower can be quite beautiful.
13. Odd things, things that make people cringe in a strange way. Like the duckling above. I did not touch it, that is how they had it displayed. A dead duckling in a teacup. I love antique doll faces even thouhg so many find them creepy. I think of the sweetness. How many teaparties did the dolls attend? How many nights did they make safer for a little girl in the dark? I like odd things.
2. the way Ruby feels in my hands and the pull on my neck from her strap, out on a photowalk looking for beauty in everything
3. black and white photography, I love the ones that are mostly dark, I have not been able to shoot for black and white yet, I will make that a lesson this winter, because when everything is all shades of gray anyway, it is the perfect time to look at things in a dark and light sort of way
4. my bird feeders full of swarming tiny birds and my cat making those chatter jaw noises from the top of the cat tree
5. feeling very crafty lately, I like making little brooch thingies with vintage buttons
6. the smell of my house right now, I made lemongrass soap, I call it Polly's Poppy seed soap after my Granny who passed last year. It was her favorite soap and she gave me an old spice jar with poppy seeds in it for the soap. I mixed that small jar into my giant costco sized container. I like the sound it makes when I shake it.
7. hot coffee, that always has to make the list.
8. the carrot soup I made yesterday. It took almost three hours to make, but it was delicious!
9. a list of stuff to get at the craft store, I love the craft store!
10. I have bags of sorted buttons, the sound of them rubbing against each other is nice. I like the colors, the size, the designs, each one telling me humble stories of the past. A giant vulcanized rubber black button, bigger than a silver dollar, with an anchor carved into it. The bottom half of the design has been rubbed away. What sailor wore this? what did he do that would make this wear mark on the button?
11. husband brought home a bonus check yesterday. Another bit of money to squirrel away for potential hard times. I don't want to waste that bit of money now and have him lose his job and wished I had it for a meal later.
12. baby sister coming by last night and showing me her new vintage clothing purchases. The bug has bit her. There is something about vintage clothes, they have a richness to them. They are different than anything you can find at the department store. They are unique and fun.
13. oversized sweatshirts and sweatpants, tall socks and slippers, tank tops and t-shirts under the sweatshirt. SO COZY!!!
My to do list today:
1. put laundry away from yesterday
2. put the washer stuff in dryer
3. clean kitchen up! I need more space in there!
4. make some more soap today
12.
1. The colors of Autumn, so rich and warm when the weather is a bit crisp
2. The yoga studio just sent a special offer to those in the beginning yoga class, two months unlimited for $99, that is cheaper than one month unlimited!
3. left over cheese tortellini with broccoli and garlic (not great actually, I will not make this for dinner again, but the fact I have left overs, I have nourishing food. I am grateful for that.
4. Sunshine
5. toasty fire in the wood stove
6. a home that is not in peril of being foreclosed on
7. a good nights sleep last night
8. taking walks with scissors in my pocket, cutting hearts in leaves
9. my husband and his twisted sense of humor
10. kitten alarm clocks, the alarm clock beeps and Luna starts dancing and purring on my chest, and occasionally drools on my, that I am not grateful for, that is kind of gross. Poor thing has a bit of an overbite which causes her to drool while purring, and eat really loud and smacky sounding which is really cute.
11. I have a kitchen filled with organic oils for making soap. They smell AH- MA-Zing!! I need to get started on that for christmas, make sure it is cured by the holiday
12. I am going to make some muffins or something today, I want something sweet.
13. I am grateful for the way my life has turned out so far. I hope it stays this way, I don't need anything more, I have a car that works, a husband that loves, a house that protects, a fridge of food that nourishes, a camera that lets me see beautiful things and a neighborhood on Vox that supports! What more could I ask for? (a macro lens?)
So Vox won't let me delete a couple of accidental downloads here. There are more photos here than I wanted, sorry.
daily compliment:
Lavender, you have a big heart
Thanks me.
Some more of the lovely couple, there was a false labor yesterday, we thought Lily was going to be here today. She still one more week and a day or two. So funny, I was looking through the photos and two shots of the same angle of the belly look very different, I think Lily was working her angles from the inside! Ha!
So I had lofty ideas about laundry day yesterday. I did no laundry. not one towel, not one load, not one hanged item. so maybe today will be different. I hope so, I need to find some motivation, like an actor "what is my motivation?" I look around for some director to say what needs to be done and only finds sleeping kittens and myself. I must find a way to motivate myself. When I was a kid, I remember my mom telling me to clean my room. I would go in and get on the floor to take all the stuff out from under my bed, lay my head on the pale pink carpet and go to sleep. I would be so overwhelmed I would just put myself to sleep. I do the same now. I create lists of step by step plans, set timers for 15 minutes, and nothing gets done. I don't know why I feel this brick wall between me and a clean house. A wall between me and an exercise routine.
sigh... I whine about this too much.
Here are 13 things that will stand between me and laundry:
1. nap
2. sudoku
3. watching re-runs on TV
4. vox
5. editing photos
6. getting dressed
7. writing a list of things I need to do
8. grocery list and menu created
9. making a cup of hot cocoa and sipping it slowly
10. flickr
11. making feathers on a stick move for Luna
12. kitchen cleaning
13. pay bills
daily compliment:
Lavender, you have a big heart
Thanks me.
Some more of the lovely couple, there was a false labor yesterday, we thought Lily was going to be here today. She still one more week and a day or two. So funny, I was looking through the photos and two shots of the same angle of the belly look very different, I think Lily was working her angles from the inside! Ha!
So I had lofty ideas about laundry day yesterday. I did no laundry. not one towel, not one load, not one hanged item. so maybe today will be different. I hope so, I need to find some motivation, like an actor "what is my motivation?" I look around for some director to say what needs to be done and only finds sleeping kittens and myself. I must find a way to motivate myself. When I was a kid, I remember my mom telling me to clean my room. I would go in and get on the floor to take all the stuff out from under my bed, lay my head on the pale pink carpet and go to sleep. I would be so overwhelmed I would just put myself to sleep. I do the same now. I create lists of step by step plans, set timers for 15 minutes, and nothing gets done. I don't know why I feel this brick wall between me and a clean house. A wall between me and an exercise routine.
sigh... I whine about this too much.
Here are 13 things that will stand between me and laundry:
6. getting dressed
8. grocery list and menu created
9. making a cup of hot cocoa and sipping it slowly
12. kitchen cleaning
Compliment of the day:
Lavender Dear, You have nice hair
Thanks Me, it took me a while to see that.
I have naturally curly hair, not really really curly, just soft curls, a bit more than waves. When I was a toddler, my hair was blond as any hollywood actress now and I had perfectly formed ringlets all around my head. I was a cute toddler. Now my hair is a shade of red, blond, brown, and now some silver. I have decided at this stage to not cover these silver strands up. I don't think they are offensive, I am 35 years old, not twenty and I am not trying to be either. I like my hair now, so easy to do. When I was younger I wanted straight, I would blow dry, and flat iron it. I do on occasion now, when I want to have a polished look. It is so easy now, get out of the shower, comb through a bit of mouse, and let dry. Soft curls and ringlets appear. I call my hair style, let dry on it's own and hope for the best. Sometimes those curls get a little crazy if no product gets put in.
Thirteen things I hope to accomplish today:
1. Photowalk
2. make lunch for Mr. L and I (he took the day off to weatherproof our home)
3. laundry put away (I am on track!)
4. go to the teacher store and get a large cardboard file box for artwork that Mr. L and I have created and have no storage for
5. make dinner
6. clean kitchen
7. watch oprah (spike lee is going to be on)
8. convince a neighbor to sell me their old window frames rotting in an alley
9. be joyful and breathe deeply
10. have some fun that is not cleaning related
11. clean up the bathroom, Luna has a new bad habit, throwing litter all over the floor, seriously like a 1/4 cup!
12. listen to some music and dance while pairing socks
13. hopefully catch up on vox a little bit! I have become a really bad neighbor!
Lavender Dear, You have nice hair
Thanks Me, it took me a while to see that.
I have naturally curly hair, not really really curly, just soft curls, a bit more than waves. When I was a toddler, my hair was blond as any hollywood actress now and I had perfectly formed ringlets all around my head. I was a cute toddler. Now my hair is a shade of red, blond, brown, and now some silver. I have decided at this stage to not cover these silver strands up. I don't think they are offensive, I am 35 years old, not twenty and I am not trying to be either. I like my hair now, so easy to do. When I was younger I wanted straight, I would blow dry, and flat iron it. I do on occasion now, when I want to have a polished look. It is so easy now, get out of the shower, comb through a bit of mouse, and let dry. Soft curls and ringlets appear. I call my hair style, let dry on it's own and hope for the best. Sometimes those curls get a little crazy if no product gets put in.
Thirteen things I hope to accomplish today:
1. Photowalk
2. make lunch for Mr. L and I (he took the day off to weatherproof our home)
3. laundry put away (I am on track!)
4. go to the teacher store and get a large cardboard file box for artwork that Mr. L and I have created and have no storage for
5. make dinner
6. clean kitchen
7. watch oprah (spike lee is going to be on)
8. convince a neighbor to sell me their old window frames rotting in an alley
9. be joyful and breathe deeply
10. have some fun that is not cleaning related
11. clean up the bathroom, Luna has a new bad habit, throwing litter all over the floor, seriously like a 1/4 cup!
12. listen to some music and dance while pairing socks
13. hopefully catch up on vox a little bit! I have become a really bad neighbor!
Thirteen things I can do today to lift my mood:
1. drink bunches of delicious Coffee! We buy from a place online, they roast the beans in my state's capitol and the name of the coffee delights me. Dancing Goats coffee A local artist created the design for the Coffee, and it is CUTE! and Man, I just saw some of the new Merch from the artist and I am going to have to check the bank account to see if there is enough for something special.
2. draw beautiful things on my sidewalk in chalk this afternoon.
3. play with my new 70-300 lens that has been intimidating me but begging for a photo walk around town.
4. look at photos on flickr to get more inspiration
5. make cookies
6. make a list of all the words that make me giggle, like
*rhubarb
*pookie
*fanny
7. go to see the new movie "Burn after reading" tonight
8. make a pot of iced tea
9. make faces at small children when their parents are not looking, not mean ones, just funny ones
10. bathe in colors today, wear a very loud and bright outfit today (if I have any clean clothes)
11. color with crayons today
12. play solitaire with real cards so that I can cheat if I want to. It does feel good to win.
13. enjoy the sunshine that is still blessing my pacific northwest home. It is a rare thing to have such wonderful weather this time of year. It is nice, I feel it is making up for a rainy August and June.
1. drink bunches of delicious Coffee! We buy from a place online, they roast the beans in my state's capitol and the name of the coffee delights me. Dancing Goats coffee A local artist created the design for the Coffee, and it is CUTE! and Man, I just saw some of the new Merch from the artist and I am going to have to check the bank account to see if there is enough for something special.
2. draw beautiful things on my sidewalk in chalk this afternoon.
3. play with my new 70-300 lens that has been intimidating me but begging for a photo walk around town.
4. look at photos on flickr to get more inspiration
5. make cookies
6. make a list of all the words that make me giggle, like
*rhubarb
*pookie
*fanny
7. go to see the new movie "Burn after reading" tonight
8. make a pot of iced tea
9. make faces at small children when their parents are not looking, not mean ones, just funny ones
10. bathe in colors today, wear a very loud and bright outfit today (if I have any clean clothes)
11. color with crayons today
12. play solitaire with real cards so that I can cheat if I want to. It does feel good to win.
13. enjoy the sunshine that is still blessing my pacific northwest home. It is a rare thing to have such wonderful weather this time of year. It is nice, I feel it is making up for a rainy August and June.
Some randomness from my whole weekend, I finally got them edited and uploaded to flickr. Now All i need to do is edit aunt K's wedding and send those discs off to her.
So since my photos are random, no theme, I think I will continue the random theme with 13 random thoughts for friday.
1. I have not been out for a walk all week, I feel like I have been fighting something off. Maybe it is just allergies. I don't know. It has been slowing my progress.
2. Yesterday while chatting with Homebody about setting up structure for ourselves, and scheduling stuff, she sent me a great Sark book in the mail. I got to thinking. I am going to make a schedule book for myself, write down my goals in crayons, markers, pencil, whatever. Make a fun schedule with plenty of space for drawings and doodles, and maybe even a photo or two. Write down what I actually did this day. Like a collage datebook. I hope to maybe share some photos of how the pages turned out.
3. I am still in my hot pink christmas Jammies, green, pink, and brown striped socks, puppy slippers, and yellow long sleeve t-shirt... I am a colorful sight right now
4. The sun is out, and the Fair starts today..... The Fair
it is the most pain in the ass for any of us locals, the traffic is horrid, you can't go across town anymore, you have to find all those back roads etc. But Today I think I am going to do something I have never done. I am heading downtown to watch the cattle drive and parade, also free admissian to the fair. I have gone to the fair every year of my life except for two years, the last two years. I kind of miss it. I miss the scones and the krusty pups, and the smell of the onion burgers cooking, the sounds of the rides buzzing and beeping. I am going to scrap my schedule today to go to the fair. I am probably going to go with Homebody and maybe others for a night photo shoot. Just let me know when you are available Darling!
5. I am now excited about going to the fair by myself. so the rest of the list will be rushed, I need to get going. ;-)
6. Fall is in the air, the leaves are a dull green on my tree and the air has a slight smell of decay.
7. My coffee is cold, I will have to get more while I am out
9. My YOGA studio opens this weekend and we are going to take advantage of the free classes. I am going to sign up for the beginner series.
10. I hope to get a new lens in the mail today. I am getting a 70-300 lens, I hope to get some great macros with it.
11. I am late getting started on my soap. sigh..... I need to order prints of some photos and make about 35 sets of blank cards and envelopes for Thanksmas gifts. Date has been set.
12. We went and saw Wall-e again last night. That movie made me almost cry again! I mean, the theater is quite dusty and it gets in my eyes, I do not cry at cartoons about robots.
13. We have a packed weekend planned, tonight we have to make kitten food, AND go to Olympia for a reunion of some of Mr. L's Co-Workers. They call it the quitters group, you see the company they worked for sucks really really bad. Mr. L quit and within a few months they lost half the staff, there have been a few more over the last couple years. There are only about 4-5 of the original staff left. It has been only 4 years.
Now I am off to photograph a Cattle Drive!!!
So since my photos are random, no theme, I think I will continue the random theme with 13 random thoughts for friday.
1. I have not been out for a walk all week, I feel like I have been fighting something off. Maybe it is just allergies. I don't know. It has been slowing my progress.
2. Yesterday while chatting with Homebody about setting up structure for ourselves, and scheduling stuff, she sent me a great Sark book in the mail. I got to thinking. I am going to make a schedule book for myself, write down my goals in crayons, markers, pencil, whatever. Make a fun schedule with plenty of space for drawings and doodles, and maybe even a photo or two. Write down what I actually did this day. Like a collage datebook. I hope to maybe share some photos of how the pages turned out.
3. I am still in my hot pink christmas Jammies, green, pink, and brown striped socks, puppy slippers, and yellow long sleeve t-shirt... I am a colorful sight right now
4. The sun is out, and the Fair starts today..... The Fair
it is the most pain in the ass for any of us locals, the traffic is horrid, you can't go across town anymore, you have to find all those back roads etc. But Today I think I am going to do something I have never done. I am heading downtown to watch the cattle drive and parade, also free admissian to the fair. I have gone to the fair every year of my life except for two years, the last two years. I kind of miss it. I miss the scones and the krusty pups, and the smell of the onion burgers cooking, the sounds of the rides buzzing and beeping. I am going to scrap my schedule today to go to the fair. I am probably going to go with Homebody and maybe others for a night photo shoot. Just let me know when you are available Darling!
5. I am now excited about going to the fair by myself. so the rest of the list will be rushed, I need to get going. ;-)
6. Fall is in the air, the leaves are a dull green on my tree and the air has a slight smell of decay.
7. My coffee is cold, I will have to get more while I am out
9. My YOGA studio opens this weekend and we are going to take advantage of the free classes. I am going to sign up for the beginner series.
10. I hope to get a new lens in the mail today. I am getting a 70-300 lens, I hope to get some great macros with it.
11. I am late getting started on my soap. sigh..... I need to order prints of some photos and make about 35 sets of blank cards and envelopes for Thanksmas gifts. Date has been set.
12. We went and saw Wall-e again last night. That movie made me almost cry again! I mean, the theater is quite dusty and it gets in my eyes, I do not cry at cartoons about robots.
13. We have a packed weekend planned, tonight we have to make kitten food, AND go to Olympia for a reunion of some of Mr. L's Co-Workers. They call it the quitters group, you see the company they worked for sucks really really bad. Mr. L quit and within a few months they lost half the staff, there have been a few more over the last couple years. There are only about 4-5 of the original staff left. It has been only 4 years.
Now I am off to photograph a Cattle Drive!!!
Today's thirteen will be a list of things I am grateful for right now, I think I need to remind myself.
1. I am a living, breathing, loving, human who is not as broken as I feel. I can take pictures while laying on my back, sitting on my knees, and half way in between. I can get back up with only a small grunt to help me, but I can get up.
2. I choose most of the time, positivity. Life presents me with this choice often. I can get negative and live in that frame of mind, bad talking people, seeing only the bad stuff that comes my way, and in this frame of mind I ignore all the good. I do not want this. I want to choose positivity. I want to see all the good that comes my way. I want to feel good and light and be delighted by small things. I choose to let the negative roll off my back, sometimes faster than other times, but I choose to let it go. Keeping that negativity means I am keeping negativity! Why do I want that?
3. My family, Husband, Turtle, and three kittehs. We are a great functioning loving family. I love my husband more than I ever thought I could love anyone or anything. It is truly an overwhelming feeling, so much so that if I really let that feeling of love come over me I cry every time, it is overwhelming but in a really great way.
4. Coffee, this is the morning drink of the Gods, I know it. I love the whole morning ritual of it. Hot cup in my hand, familiar chips on the handle that I continually pick at with my nail. The smell intoxicates me, I feel alive with just one inhale through my sleepy little nose. every sip of the dark steamy liquid my eyelids become easier and easier to keep open. I drink two cups a morning, I know I am addicted because I need more now. But Coffee, I just can't quit you!
5. my neighborhood. I have so many wonderful people who live in my town. I have lived here my whole life and I think why have I only just met these people, then I realize I was a kid and we would not have had great conversation like we have now. I appreciate my town and hope to become more involved in the future of the town. It is at a boiling point with me right now, I need my farm lands, I do not need more traffic and a sea of tract housing where raspberries and lettuce once grew. I do not want higher taxes because I have to pay for more roads and more schools to support these new neighbors with boring yards I cant find one thing to photograph that is interesting, and that is BAD! I hope to make new connections and find out what I can do to help my community stay the way it is and always has been, a farming community.
6. fun note pads, it is always easier to cross stuff off of a to do list when it is on pretty paper. Hearts and hello kitties, sweet bears and ugly dolls. I am grateful for the smile these little note pads bring to my face and lighten my heart. They make me happy.
7. Striped socks. This is like the note pads, they just make me so happy to know my toes are wrapped in socks striped the colors of ice cream and rainbows. Even when my pants are long enough to cover them (rare event) It makes me so delighted to have colorful stripes on my feet and legs. I hope to always wear them, I will be 85 years old with pink and green striped knee socks. I will be happy.
8. music, I am grateful for music. It makes me dance, it makes me cry, it makes me think, it makes me laugh, it makes me cringe and plug my ears. I can hear songs released hen I was in high school and get thrown back into some long lost memory of friends I no longer see, of situations I am no longer in, of a young love just beginning. I remember the things I did not understand and wonder if in another 20 years I will have the same epiphanies.
9. Art, for most of the same reasons as music, but it also wakes something up inside of me. When I visit an art museum, or exhibit, I want to run home and get knee deep in pens, paper, paint, glue, scissors, photos, pencils, and beads. It makes me feel alive.
10. Funny people. This world would be unbearable without funny people, jokes that poke fun at ourselves. We tend to be a bit serious and a good laugh, with every fast loud breath out we release so much tension, with every fast happy breath in our bodies relax. I love to laugh and will laugh at just about anything, especially myself. I am a silly, strange, contradiction who takes herself too seriously sometimes.
11. my home, I have a nice house that needs bunches of TLC, but still a nice home. I love the feeling it gave me when I walked in for the first time. It hugged me when I walked into the kitchen on our first walk through, it warmed my heart when walking through the three bedrooms, and whispered "you are Home" in my ears before I left. I knew this was where I was supposed to be. I was not sure, it was not the style of home I had pictured in my head when I thought of owning a home. It is very 1950's modern. I saw myself in an old bungalow or victorian house. We were reluctant to look at this one, but I decided why not and we ran through the rain to the front step. The warmth I felt inside was great. It was not the heaters, they suck and we still have not replaced them. Haha! It is my home, my fortress, my safety from the rest of the world.
12. My husbands job. It enables me to stay home and get myself in a better frame of mind. To thnk of where I was three years ago really does frighten me. I was sleepless, anxious, depressed, hopeless, and thinking of a world without me in it. I was slipping away fast. Mr. Lavender worked himself through school almost a year ahead of schedule. He worked so hard to get a good job to support us both so I could quit working for some of the nastiest people this community had to offer. I survived it all because of him. I kept living because he was definitely worth living for. I am in this lovely place because of his hard work. I am grateful for all of that. In this shrinking economy I know how much of a luxury this life is, and I am truly grateful for it.
13. I am grateful for photography. Mr. L wanted to get me a digital camera because I was taking so many photos with our film camera that it was getting expensive. For christmas he gave me my new tool for relaxation. Like I said yesterday, my head does not shut up. I am random and scrambled with my thoughts, but when I walk out my front door with Ruby around my neck, well by the time I hit the corner, my first decision of which way I should turn, my head is clear. Quiet and relaxed. I listen to my body, to my mind, to my heart beating in my chest. I breath in deep and look for beauty. It is everywhere when you are in that state of silence. It jumps out of bushes, and gardens, from behind railroad tracks and light poles. In shadows and alleys. It is everywhere. I am grateful for photography that helped me open my eyes to see the true beauty of the world around me.
1. I am a living, breathing, loving, human who is not as broken as I feel. I can take pictures while laying on my back, sitting on my knees, and half way in between. I can get back up with only a small grunt to help me, but I can get up.
2. I choose most of the time, positivity. Life presents me with this choice often. I can get negative and live in that frame of mind, bad talking people, seeing only the bad stuff that comes my way, and in this frame of mind I ignore all the good. I do not want this. I want to choose positivity. I want to see all the good that comes my way. I want to feel good and light and be delighted by small things. I choose to let the negative roll off my back, sometimes faster than other times, but I choose to let it go. Keeping that negativity means I am keeping negativity! Why do I want that?
3. My family, Husband, Turtle, and three kittehs. We are a great functioning loving family. I love my husband more than I ever thought I could love anyone or anything. It is truly an overwhelming feeling, so much so that if I really let that feeling of love come over me I cry every time, it is overwhelming but in a really great way.
4. Coffee, this is the morning drink of the Gods, I know it. I love the whole morning ritual of it. Hot cup in my hand, familiar chips on the handle that I continually pick at with my nail. The smell intoxicates me, I feel alive with just one inhale through my sleepy little nose. every sip of the dark steamy liquid my eyelids become easier and easier to keep open. I drink two cups a morning, I know I am addicted because I need more now. But Coffee, I just can't quit you!
5. my neighborhood. I have so many wonderful people who live in my town. I have lived here my whole life and I think why have I only just met these people, then I realize I was a kid and we would not have had great conversation like we have now. I appreciate my town and hope to become more involved in the future of the town. It is at a boiling point with me right now, I need my farm lands, I do not need more traffic and a sea of tract housing where raspberries and lettuce once grew. I do not want higher taxes because I have to pay for more roads and more schools to support these new neighbors with boring yards I cant find one thing to photograph that is interesting, and that is BAD! I hope to make new connections and find out what I can do to help my community stay the way it is and always has been, a farming community.
6. fun note pads, it is always easier to cross stuff off of a to do list when it is on pretty paper. Hearts and hello kitties, sweet bears and ugly dolls. I am grateful for the smile these little note pads bring to my face and lighten my heart. They make me happy.
7. Striped socks. This is like the note pads, they just make me so happy to know my toes are wrapped in socks striped the colors of ice cream and rainbows. Even when my pants are long enough to cover them (rare event) It makes me so delighted to have colorful stripes on my feet and legs. I hope to always wear them, I will be 85 years old with pink and green striped knee socks. I will be happy.
8. music, I am grateful for music. It makes me dance, it makes me cry, it makes me think, it makes me laugh, it makes me cringe and plug my ears. I can hear songs released hen I was in high school and get thrown back into some long lost memory of friends I no longer see, of situations I am no longer in, of a young love just beginning. I remember the things I did not understand and wonder if in another 20 years I will have the same epiphanies.
9. Art, for most of the same reasons as music, but it also wakes something up inside of me. When I visit an art museum, or exhibit, I want to run home and get knee deep in pens, paper, paint, glue, scissors, photos, pencils, and beads. It makes me feel alive.
10. Funny people. This world would be unbearable without funny people, jokes that poke fun at ourselves. We tend to be a bit serious and a good laugh, with every fast loud breath out we release so much tension, with every fast happy breath in our bodies relax. I love to laugh and will laugh at just about anything, especially myself. I am a silly, strange, contradiction who takes herself too seriously sometimes.
11. my home, I have a nice house that needs bunches of TLC, but still a nice home. I love the feeling it gave me when I walked in for the first time. It hugged me when I walked into the kitchen on our first walk through, it warmed my heart when walking through the three bedrooms, and whispered "you are Home" in my ears before I left. I knew this was where I was supposed to be. I was not sure, it was not the style of home I had pictured in my head when I thought of owning a home. It is very 1950's modern. I saw myself in an old bungalow or victorian house. We were reluctant to look at this one, but I decided why not and we ran through the rain to the front step. The warmth I felt inside was great. It was not the heaters, they suck and we still have not replaced them. Haha! It is my home, my fortress, my safety from the rest of the world.
12. My husbands job. It enables me to stay home and get myself in a better frame of mind. To thnk of where I was three years ago really does frighten me. I was sleepless, anxious, depressed, hopeless, and thinking of a world without me in it. I was slipping away fast. Mr. Lavender worked himself through school almost a year ahead of schedule. He worked so hard to get a good job to support us both so I could quit working for some of the nastiest people this community had to offer. I survived it all because of him. I kept living because he was definitely worth living for. I am in this lovely place because of his hard work. I am grateful for all of that. In this shrinking economy I know how much of a luxury this life is, and I am truly grateful for it.
13. I am grateful for photography. Mr. L wanted to get me a digital camera because I was taking so many photos with our film camera that it was getting expensive. For christmas he gave me my new tool for relaxation. Like I said yesterday, my head does not shut up. I am random and scrambled with my thoughts, but when I walk out my front door with Ruby around my neck, well by the time I hit the corner, my first decision of which way I should turn, my head is clear. Quiet and relaxed. I listen to my body, to my mind, to my heart beating in my chest. I breath in deep and look for beauty. It is everywhere when you are in that state of silence. It jumps out of bushes, and gardens, from behind railroad tracks and light poles. In shadows and alleys. It is everywhere. I am grateful for photography that helped me open my eyes to see the true beauty of the world around me.
thirteen things about today
1. it is raining, soft and warm, sweet and wet
2. when it stops raining, I am taking a walk with Ruby and my 50mm lens to find the beauty the raindrops left behind
3. while I am out I will get another cup of coffee
4. I will look at random photos on flickr to find inspiration
5. price how much a macro lens is, along with a flash unit and maybe some filters. I cannot buy them, but I will look
6. eat a salad with fresh tomatoes from my garden of planters
7. watch the view and get frustrated with Elisabeth for not opening her stubborn mind a little, not everybody is perfect, even if we want them to be
8. do a soduko puzzle
9. listen to bunches of music
10. clean up after yesterdays dinner of fresh veggie chowder, froze most of it.
11. look at the photography magazines a coworker of Mr. Lavenders so kindly gave me
12. take a nap
13. make a menu for next week and grocery list
now 13 things I am grateful for, because I think I need to list them, I have been feeling a bit lonely lately.
1. not having a job
2. the house I live in
3. food in my cupboards
4. music to listen to
5. Mr. Lavender
6. the big hugs I get every morning when he leaves for work and the big hugs I get when he walks in the door in the evening
7. I am well
8. the way I see the world
9. meeting so many great people lately
10. the silence that has fallen after the wedding
11. summer rain
12. color
13. being able to laugh at pain
1. it is raining, soft and warm, sweet and wet
2. when it stops raining, I am taking a walk with Ruby and my 50mm lens to find the beauty the raindrops left behind
3. while I am out I will get another cup of coffee
4. I will look at random photos on flickr to find inspiration
5. price how much a macro lens is, along with a flash unit and maybe some filters. I cannot buy them, but I will look
6. eat a salad with fresh tomatoes from my garden of planters
7. watch the view and get frustrated with Elisabeth for not opening her stubborn mind a little, not everybody is perfect, even if we want them to be
8. do a soduko puzzle
9. listen to bunches of music
10. clean up after yesterdays dinner of fresh veggie chowder, froze most of it.
11. look at the photography magazines a coworker of Mr. Lavenders so kindly gave me
12. take a nap
13. make a menu for next week and grocery list
now 13 things I am grateful for, because I think I need to list them, I have been feeling a bit lonely lately.
1. not having a job
2. the house I live in
3. food in my cupboards
4. music to listen to
5. Mr. Lavender
6. the big hugs I get every morning when he leaves for work and the big hugs I get when he walks in the door in the evening
7. I am well
8. the way I see the world
9. meeting so many great people lately
10. the silence that has fallen after the wedding
11. summer rain
12. color
13. being able to laugh at pain
