Day one, Saturday.
We had to pick up gifts for SIL, Niece, and BIT for the Spring birthdays. (Yes, well aware it is nearly fall). Mr. L's family celebrates birthdays two times a year. Spring, for all whose birthdays fall in Spring and early summer (myself included) and again in the fall where we will celebrate Niece, Nephew, SIL BIL and MIL. Mr. L gets stuck with Christmas with Jesus. So this year was late, and we had to pick up gifts. One SIL got portraits done by me, the SIL who is laid off and in school again and her husband got a movie gift certificate for a date night. Money has been tight and Mr. L thought this would be a nice gift for them since they are cutting back on things like this, and niece got the book "the Mysterious Benedict Society" by Trenton Lee Stewart. We were drawn to the artwork on the cover (yes, I judge books by the cover) It is by the same artist who does the artwork for all the Decemberists albums, Carson Ellis (she is also married to the lead singer of the band). I bought niece the hardcover and myself the paperback because it really does look good. SIL said that the niece has been reading the book non stop for a few days now, Niece is enjoying the book and SIL is enjoying the silence. ;-)
Also attended Mr. L's company picnic. That is where I took the Lake photos.
Day Two, Sunday
the birthday Party was in Seattle. It was a nice day, partly cloudy, partly sunny. Great food, SIL makes the most amazing orange cream-cycle cake, seriously to die for yummy. I got fruity pebbles treats (like rice crispy treats but with fruity pebbles) home made cashew brittle, $50 gift certificate for house cleaning by SIL (sweet!) and some long sleeve t-shirts I wear all fall, winter, and spring. Great to layer with. I had a craving for onion rings so on ou way out we stopped at Kidd Valley for an order. They were really good.
Day Three, Monday
Mr. L took this day off because we were attending the Depeche mode concert in Seattle. Depeche mode is Mr. L's fave band of all time. Our first dance as a married couple was to the song "somebody", Mr. L sang the song softly in my ear as we danced the fox trot my grandparents taught us before the wedding. (seriously the song still brings tears to my eyes). The concert was really nice. I will write a post about it later, maybe tomorrow. All I will say today is that they still have it, my ears were ringing the next day.
I also received a new lens in the mail. No pictures of the concert, too fearful of getting kicked out or camera confiscated.
Day Four, Tuesday
* slept in, decided to go for a walk up in a new park here in town. It has over two miles of trails and is quite lovely. There was a pond that had SO many frogs in it, frogs sitting on lily pads, seriously! We then went to the paint store and picked up samples to paint the house with. We have a ballpark idea of what we want. It should be nice. Nothing else really.
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My internets all week has been glitchy and uncooperative. Not loading pages, freezing, etc. We never figured out what it was but seems to be better now. Hmmm... strange.
I am off to do more laundry (which will catch me up on that chore) and finish the dishes.
I really am having a tough time getting myself organized, I have never known the calm of organization, only the chaos of clutter. I don't know how to go about creating an open space to live. I feel as though I just can't do it on my own, but I am embarrassed to have someone else come in and see what I have done. Summer is almost over and I have barely begun.
Mr. L and I have started seeing a massage therapist other than SIL. I feel like I am cheating on her, but her schedule is too busy to fit us in. This LMP is very skilled. She is tiny, with curly gray hair, and a sweet smile. She will find the spot and move my head, leg, arm, around until the spot no longer feels pain when pushed and hold me there for 90 seconds. The spot relaxes and melts away, painlessly. It felt so good. I felt safe, her confidence made me feel at ease.
She was working on a large knot I have had since I was working at the daycare. Many massage therapists have gone to battle with this painful angry knot in my shoulder. No one has ever been able to tame my dragon of a knot. After a large battle, it would burn and tingle for days, feeling bruised but still strong as ever. This tiny gentle woman found it with her fingers, I winced, and she moved my arm to a spot where the pain was dulled, she help me there. Told me to relax and breathe, I did. My mind brought up images of childhood pain, images of dressers piled with junk, old bosses humiliating me, customers abusing me.. tears bagan to form in my eyes, this knot held it all. All the knots in my body remember all the bad negative things and held onto them. I visualized a life beyond this pain. A life where only a few things laid on a table top neatly, where I lived in a home with the charming mr. l, a life where I am no longer humiliated by bosses or abused by the general public, no classmates criticizing my salvation army clothes.... the therapist smiles and said "ahhh, there it goes" I am snapped back to her table, she did it. She went to battle with the knot and she won with gentle prodding instead of bullying it around. She asked for it to leave politely and it obliged. I smiled and a single teardrop fell down my cheek and into my ear. She asked if I was okay, I just said I have held onto that thing for so long, it feels good to let it go. She smiled at me again and found another knot to untangle.
After my treatment I could move my neck about two inches further from side to side. Mr. L said I looked taller.
I need to venture outside my own walls instead of living in all the clutter, empty all the rooms both mentaly and physically. I need to stop watching life through a window and live.
I will... it will just take some time I guess.
today I will:
1.dishes done and kitchen cleaned
2. laundry put away (I have several baskets of clean clothes ready to be folded and put away)
3. clean off one tabletop and keep it cleaned off
*experienced the warmest temperatures my area has ever had (104 in my town)
*read a book
*started a new book
*made sun tea three times in a giant old glass canning jar
*caught up on the laundry (still need to put it away though)
*sweat through three shirts a day until I just declared it naked day at the lavender home
*made a cute clothes pin holder for my laundry line
*made my own fabric softener and when the recipe says mix gently and vent often, I now know how gentle I need to swirl it (it exploded all over my kitchen) I added lemongrass oil and it smells SO good
*watched a lot of bad TV because it was too warm to do anything else
*finished several soduko (funny, said this is misspelled recommended sodomy as a correction) puzzles
*paired BUNCHES of socks
*bought a new lens that I will now need to pay the savings back with money I will be making from family who want portraits done (two this week and one more in three weeks plus a wedding in april) also another sale is in order
*went to a park for Mr. L's company BBQ and ran into his cousins having a family reunion
*bought so much produce at the farmers market we can hardly close our fridge
*worked at the food bank for someone who did not show up and got two hugs, a tearful thank you, and a hearty handshake from people who have never been to a food bank before and were glad I helped make the experience easy and painless
*sat in the back yard at night marveling at how 85 degrees can feel cool
*drank insane amounts of water
*baby sis booked us another fashion show, this one is called Product Runway
*thought of blog posts but never posted them
*took naps
*went to a ten year olds birthday party
*looked up recipes for hand soap and laundry soap
*went shopping with friends and found jeans for $10
*felt quiet, and sat in silence
